How To Stop Judging Yourself And Start Loving Yourself More

If you don’t know how to stop judging yourself, we hope this guide will help you in your journey of self-acceptance!

The first thing we’d like to address is that we have good news to share. The first step in stopping negative self-judgments is realizing that you experience them.

Judgemental thoughts can have a negative impact on our mental health. The judgment of others and of yourself can limit your true potential. Your own self-judgments can impact how you show up in the world and how you show up for yourself. When your sense of self is negative, this can also contribute to low self-esteem. Susequently, you may have more negative thoughts.

And don’t get us wrong, there will be times that you feel negative. It’s at those times when you should honor your emotions and process them. It’s important not to bottle up negative emotions and to understand why you’re experiencing them. When you process emotions, you identify them, allow your emotions to happen, and then let them go.

For most people, it’s totally normal to feel negative emotions from time to time. If you’re usually a happy human, your inner world may not be plagued with negative thoughts.

This post is for times when you feel that you are judging yourself. We’ve provided some ideas for you to build self-love and self-compassion and address how to stop judging yourself.

Please note: if you are experiencing negative thoughts that persist, please seek medical attention. We are not counselors or therapists. These are only suggestions.

Understanding Why We Judge Ourselves

There’s no doubt that most people judge themselves too much. But by understanding why you judge yourself, you may be able to adopt a new point of view. Some of the reasons why we judge ourselves are listed below:

Self-protection: Our inner critic is designed to protect us from harm or failure. This inner critic was helpful hundreds of thousands of years ago – as a survival mechanism. But in this day and age, we should push the limits of our comfort zone (safely). It may be a natural tendency of yours to play it safe.
Comparison: We may judge ourselves harshly when we compare ourselves to others and feel that we fall short in some way. Social Media is a breeding ground for comparison. Also, the beauty standards of our generation are almost unattainable.
Perfectionism: Some people have a tendency towards perfectionism, which can lead them to be overly critical of themselves. Perfectionist tendencies may be paralyzing.
Trauma or negative experiences: Maybe there was someone who said hurtful things to you as a young child. Negative experiences can create judgmental thoughts and patterns of low self-esteem.

Self-judgment is a common part of the human experience, but it can also be harmful if it becomes excessive or is accompanied by negative self-talk. When we judge ourselves, we limit our true potential.

You’ll want to understand where your judgment comes from by looking at the list above and considering other origins. Moreover, this can help you do some self-reflection to build self-compassion. Identifying where your judgment comes from can be a part of the healing journey as you try to build more self-compassion. Hence, finding the origin of our negative judgments is an important key in how to stop judging yourself.

How to Stop Judging Yourself Through Self Compassion

Let’s dive into self-compassion and take this a step further.

Self-compassion is an important part of being kind to ourselves. It helps us feel less judgmental toward our mistakes and failures. Therefore, it encourages us to take care of ourselves when we’re feeling down. When you take on a nonjudgmental stance, you may find that it’s easier to show up as your authentic self. You’ll may be more open to taking risks and find that failures are opportunities for learning.

Self-Compassion v. Self-Pity – Understanding How Self-Compassion is Not Self-Pity

One more important thing to note is that self-compassion is not hosting a pity party.

Self-compassion is different than self-pity because it focuses on our own thoughts and feelings rather than those of others. It also helps us to accept ourselves as we are, instead of focusing on what we’re not doing right.

Self-compassion involves treating oneself with kindness, understanding, and love. It involves acknowledging that mistakes and setbacks are a natural part of life. Additionally, it means recognizing that one’s own struggles are part of life.

Self-pity, on the other hand, involves feeling sorry for oneself. Moreover, it means dwelling on one’s own suffering or difficulties in an excessive way. It can include being a victim or believing that one is unfairly suffering compared to others. Self-pity can lead to negative thinking and a lack of motivation to make positive changes.

In general, self-compassion is a healthy and adaptive way of coping with challenges. Conversely, self-pity can be detrimental and hinder progress. It’s important to recognize the difference between the two and to strive for self-compassion rather than self-pity.

It’s from a place of self-compassion that we identify that we have control of our lives and we can change our own experiences. Self-compassion is a tool to avoid judgment in a healthy and positive way.

How to Stop Judging Yourself with Some Helpful Tools

Whenever you begin your journey on the path to self-compassion and less judgment, it’s important to have helpful tools to use. These are a few ideas and tools that you can try out:

Practice self-compassion
Recognize your inner critic
Practice mindfulness
Seek support
Take action

Continue reading as we take a deep dive into each of the ideas above!

How to Deal with Your Inner Critic

It’s common to have an inner critic or a voice in your head that is judgmental towards yourself. Dealing with this inner critic can be challenging, but there are strategies that can help you develop a more compassionate inner voice. Here are a few suggestions:

Acknowledge your inner critic: Recognize that your inner critic is a part of you and that it is trying to protect you in some way, even if its methods are unhelpful.
Practice mindfulness: Pay attention to your thoughts and emotions in a non-judgmental way. This can help you become more aware of your inner critic and catch negative or critical thoughts before they escalate.
Reframe your thoughts: Instead of accepting your inner critic’s negative messages, try to reframe them. For example, instead of thinking about your failures, think about the opportunities to learn from them.
Practice self-love: Treat yourself with kindness, understanding, and support, as you would a good friend. This can help counterbalance the negative messages of your inner critic.
Seek support: If you are struggling to manage your inner critic, it can be helpful to seek support from a therapist or other trusted individual. They can help you develop strategies for dealing with your inner critic and work through any underlying issues that may be contributing to negative self-talk.

Remember that it takes time and practice to develop a more compassionate inner voice. Be patient with yourself and know that it is possible to develop a more positive and supportive inner dialogue.

How to Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment with an open and non-judgmental attitude. It can help reduce stress, improve focus, and increase self-awareness. Here are a few ways to practice mindfulness:

Find a quiet place to sit or lie down: Choose a place that is comfortable and free from distractions.
Focus on your breath: Pay attention to the sensation of your breath as it moves in and out of your body. If your mind wanders, gently redirect your attention back to your breath. Deep breaths can be great for resetting your thoughts and mindset.
Notice your thoughts and emotions: Observe your thoughts and emotions as they arise, without trying to change them. Just allow them to be there.
Accept what is: Let go of the need to control the present moment or change what is happening. Simply be present with what is.
Repeat a mantra or prayer: Choose a word or phrase that has personal meaning to you, and repeat it to yourself as you focus on your breath. This can help anchor your attention in the present moment.

Remember that mindfulness is a skill that takes time and practice to develop. It’s okay if your mind wanders or if you have a hard time focusing at first. With time and practice, mindfulness can help you become more present and aware in your daily life.

Take Action and Build Your Self Esteem

Self-esteem is an important aspect of overall well-being and can impact how we feel about ourselves and our lives. Here are a few things you can do to boost your self-esteem:

Practice self-care: Take care of your physical and emotional needs through proper self-care!
Set goals and celebrate your achievements: Set small, achievable goals for yourself and celebrate your successes, no matter how small. This can help you feel more confident and capable.
Practice gratitude: Take time each day to focus on the things you are grateful for. This can help shift your focus from negative thoughts and feelings to more positive ones.
Learn new things: Engaging in new activities or learning new skills can help you feel more competent and confident.
Surround yourself with positive people: Seek out supportive relationships with people who are positive and uplifting. Avoid people who are critical or negative.
Practice self-compassion: Be kind and understanding towards yourself, especially during times of struggle or failure.

These tools are excellent for building a relationship with yourself. Keep in mind that one day of self-care will not completely transform our mindset but with some practice, you may see improvements!

Examples of Positive Self Talk

If you catch yourself saying negative things, stop the though and re-frame it with positive self talk.

Positive self-talk is a form of self-directed communication that is positive, supportive, and helpful. Here are a few examples of positive self-talk:

I am worthy and deserving of respect and love
I am capable of achieving my goals and living the life of my dreams
I am strong, resilient, and capable
I do my best every day and I learn from my mistakes
I am grateful for all I have and the skills I possess

All in all, using positive self-talk can help you build confidence and improve your overall well-being. It’s important to be kind and understanding towards yourself and to use positive self-talk as a way to encourage yourself.

We also have a list of self-love affirmations that you might like!

Additional Ways You Can Practice Self-Compassion and Self-Love

Self-love is the practice of treating yourself with kindness, respect, and compassion and valuing yourself as a unique and worthy individual. Here are a few steps you can take to create an attitude of self-love:

Invest in yourself: Learn new skills, pick up a hobby, and fill time with positive experiences.
Take time to rest: Taking time to rest and relax will allow you to recharge and feel rejuvenated.
Set boundaries: Learn to say “no” to things that don’t align with your values or that are not good for you. Respect your own needs and desires, and don’t feel guilty for taking care of yourself.
Surround yourself with positive people: Seek out supportive relationships with people who are positive and uplifting. Avoid people who are critical or negative, as they can bring down your self-esteem.
Practice gratitude: Take time each day to focus on the things you are grateful for. This can help shift your focus from negative thoughts and feelings to more positive ones.

It’s important to be patient with yourself and to practice self-compassion. As you work on developing a more positive and loving relationship with yourself, try keeping a journal. If you track your progress, you may feel more inclined to continue with your new routine.

How to Stop Judging Yourself Through Seeking Support

Seeking support when needed is optimal for good mental and physical health. If you are experiencing negative feelings, please seek therapy or counseling.

When you seek support, you’re already becoming a more vulnerable version of your self. Ask for help and accept help – we can all benefit from relying on a support system.

Sometimes people may not be ready for counseling and we advise – go at your own pace. When you are not ready to talk to a therapist, please seek out people you are comfortable with. Talking with a friend, family member, or spouse is a great way to seek support.

As a reminder, we are only providing suggestions in this post. If you need to speak with a licensed professional, please do so.

Other Tools to help you stop judging yourself

Another way to work on building self-compassion is to build positive habits on a daily basis. As a human being, it’s normal to struggle with new habits. Therefore, you’ll want to add some self compassion habits into your daily routine so it becomes the norm.

Once you build this habit, you may quickly realize that your mental state may improve as you begin to practice mindfulness, self compassion, and more.

We didn’t want to end this post by just highlighting some new habits and action plans though, we also wanted to provide additional tools! Below you’ll find some books and resources to help you along this journey.

Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases

Judgment Detox by Gabby Bernstein

Meditation for Self Compassion

50 Mindful Steps to Self-Esteem

The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion

How to Be Nice to Yourself

In the pursuit on learning how to stop judging yourself, you may want to try out different ideas and see what works best for you!

Final Thoughts

Thank you so much for reading our post on how to stop judging yourself!

Negative judgments can prevent us from living the life of our dreams. We may hold ourselves back from experiencing the good things in life by just focusing on one bad thing.

While it’s incredibly important to honor your own feelings, there is a different between honoring your emotions and getting stuck on self judgment.

We want you to approach your self talk in a different way – one that is more positive and thoughtful. One of the most effective ways to start the journey on how to stop judging yourself is recognizing those self judgements. Furthermore, when you have a judgmental thought, challenge it. Do not allow your mind to dwell on harsh words.

We hope you enjoyed some of these great tips and if you have additional ideas, please feel free to let us know in the comments!